Fey/Poehler 2016

AMY POEHLER FINALLY WON YOU GUYS! If you can believe it, it's her FIRST win despite being nominated THIRTEEN times. Let's take a moment to celebrate/dance/scream:

HOWEVER, Tatiana Maslany did not win for Orphan Black. And this was my reaction:   

 

At least she won best dressed by a landslide, in my totally biased and fanatic opinion. Look at this flawlessness:

You're a winner in my heart, Sarah/Beth/Cosima/Allison/etc

Speaking of dresses, WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON LAST NIGHT? Eek, I thought the Oscars were bad. But then this happened:

Pants. She's wearing pants. Under a dress. UNDER. A. DRESS.

And this:

I HATE bad posture and pigeon-toed posing. STAND UP STRAIGHT GURL.

Oy J-LAW:

This is Dior's fault, obviously. Poor contractual obligations.

Though someone hilariously made this connection:

Everyone should be SO LUCKY to be compared to Ariel.

AND WHAT THE EFF IS THIS?

"What is on my TV screen?"-everyone watching last night.

Ugh, ok we need to bring in the national treasures that are Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Emma Thompson to remind us that some people are always going to be on point.

Seriously, go watch VEEP. It's the best. SHE'S the best.

I want to be Emma Thompson when I grow up.

A few of my other favorites from last night include:

Cate Blanchett's speech- the first ever to incorporate Judy Garland, barbiturates, vodka, and the Magic Castle, I think?

CUMBERBATCH AND FASSBENDER.

I think my ovaries just burst.

This dress.

These older gents who kind of nailed it?

                                            

                                                 

           

This color:

By the way, I totally called that this was Calvin Klein.
Sometimes I impress myself.

This text from my mother re: Jared Leto:

NO JANE NOOOOO! But..ugh I kind of get it.
Jane has good taste when it comes to faces.

SPEAKING OF LETO, I have this absurd fascination with him and his.....ways. Now I'm sure he's a nice guy, his face IS killer, and he clearly deserves his Golden Globe, but he also does things like this. On purpose:

OF COURSE, to each his own, everyone should feel free to do what they want, blah blah blah. But I'm sorry, I like to stalk/harass him A LITTLE BIT on Twitter. Nothing crazy, just to see if I can make him respond (or call the cops). I call it "Bother Leto". Here are a few of my favorites:

Now for the best part of ANY night/day/event/life: the amazingness that IS Amy and Tina. They truly are comedy geniuses and they know how to nail the true life facts. The BEST jokes are without a doubt:

“Gravity is nominated for best film. It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.”

“One of my favorite films this year is the movie Her, which takes place in the not so distant future. Which is perfect, because so does Joaquin Phoenix.”

“Matthew McConaughey is here. For his role in Dallas Buyers Club, he lost 45 pounds, or what actresses call ‘being in a movie.’”

“And now, like a supermodel’s vagina, let’s all give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio.”

Way to kill it yet again ladies.