I Want a Pope Recount
The following is an actual email conversation with my father. Even though we now know the outcome (SPOILER ALERT: we lost), I still love the fact that this is the kind of email I get from my dad. Notes are in italics:
Dad:
Cardinal Bertone is 5 to 1 odds to become Pope. If you lay down 20 pounds , you will win 100 pounds! And you can keep it!!
Xxxooo Dad
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Me (two days later, since I chose to ignore it the first time I read it):
Are you being serious?? I don't even know how to "lay down" 20 pounds. More importantly, will I be arrested?
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Dad:
No it's all legal! You go into one of the betting parlors and make a bet of 20 pounds and place it on “Bertone” for Pope. When he is elected (note the confidence), you go back to the place with the ticket and collect your money based on the odds (5 to 1, 6 to 1, etc) Very simple!
xo Dad
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Me:
Should I do it today?
Just so you know, this is probably the most ridiculous conversation we've ever had. So beware it might have to go on my blog. (I did warn him)
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Dad:
Yes, yes and yes by all means!! You have to “lay down the bet” before they chose which may be as early as tomorrow!! (is he writing this from inside the conclave or something?)
Dad
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Me:
Alright, bet is "laid down". And I sure hope you meant Tarcisio Bertone, or else we're rooting for a dark horse.
p.s. FYI- girl with red curly hair and a bright green coat is stared at in those establishments.
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Dad:
BTW, he’ll chose the name, “Pius XIII”… (notice the non-concern about my safety)
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Me:
Do you have insider information or something?
Alright, bet is "laid down". And I sure hope you meant Tarcisio Bertone, or else we're rooting for a dark horse.
Also, here are the terms:
If Bertone is not chosen, you owe me 20 pounds (not dollars).
If Bertone is chosen, I get back my 20 pounds, plus 10% of the winnings. We'll call it a handling fee.(can you tell I used to work at an agency?)
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Dad:
BTW, he’ll chose the name, “Pius XIII”… (notice the non-concern about my safety)
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Me:
Do you have insider information or something?
p.s. this convo has to be forwarded to Mom.
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Dad:
It comes from an intense study of a variety of sources leading to an inevitable deduction (apparently he's the reincarnated Sherlock Holmes). Will explain whilst we count the winnings….
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Unfortunately we lost the bet...or really my dad just lost money, but I still believe he had insider information. I also had my eye on a leather jacket that I was going to buy with my winnings, but alas it shall not be. At least I've learned how to lay down a bet properly, though next time I won't choose to do it right before an important race so that I don't have seven men breathing and shuffling angrily behind me. Don't worry Pops, I'd do it all over again for you!
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